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Where do they go? And should you care if your ex still has your nudes? The answers are mixed. For some, like Cindy Gallop—founder of Make Love Not Porn, a NSFW video site dedicated to correcting porn-based myths about sex —keeping nudes from past lovers is a way to reminisce about good times from her past. In my case, I consider and I treat those nudes as just a really nice and entirely private personal reflection. I treat those nudes as just a really nice and entirely private personal reflection.
I was six months free of an abusive relationship when I got the text. It was from Beau, a coworker. I'd spent the entire morning trying to figure out what I was going to eat for lunch, not realizing my naked photos had already been sent to half a dozen people. An overwhelming sense of shame overtook me as I told him to prove it. He replied with a photo: It was definitely me, and I was definitely naked. Below it, the original sender had written: "Forward these to everyone you know. It wasn't the sight of my own skin that embarrassed me, but the idea that my older brothers, little nieces, best friends, and work colleagues might find out these photos existed.