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There's a chav Essex girl and a freakish creature with pink and black hair who is so emotional that her eyeliner is constantly running down her face. There's a trio of temptresses in Agent Provocateur frilly bras and a hippydippy Trust Fund babe who knows she can rely on daddy's money. They are the new, upmarket tribes of St Trinian's. And to bring them in line with the 21st-century, the directors of the new film, which premieres next week, went round the country visiting girls' schools to base these leading characters on today's modern pupil. By visiting a number we were able to plug into the mindset of today's girls and get a sense of which bands they were talking about, what cliques they had and what slang they were using. The "new" girls of St Trinian's are not the catapult-slinging, gin-distilling, midnight-feasting, scruffy scamps of the s; but there's plenty of suspender-twanging. The flour bombs and bun fights have been replaced with crossbows and zip wires and, instead of kidnapping racehorses, the skool of stages a heist to steal a painting from the National Gallery. Rupert Everett's remake of the dotty comedy films about jolly-hockey-stickwielding wildcats has gone posh, with sexy molls in thigh-high pleated skirts and plunging neck ties running riot in 6in Manolos.
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